Yesterday while on phone with Dave…he’s driving down the road:

Dave: Oh! Dead skunk! (hearing brakes squeal) Hold on a minute…(heavy breathing)…I’m gonna take this home and skin it and make a hat.

Me: Um…are you sure about….

Dave: (interrupting me)Oh, he’s a pretty one! (I hear the rattling of a plastic grocery bag and more huffing and grunting from Dave as he’s dodging cars and attempting to get the skunk in the bag. A few moments later I hear the truck door slam and he’s back in the truck driving down the road).We continue our conversation as though this is an everyday occurrence.

Two minutes later:Dave: Hey! HEY! GET OUT OF THERE!!! DAMN IT, MARTIN!!(I have no idea the dogs were in the back of the truck…had I known this I would have been more verbal about my misgivings on the situation).

More squealing of the brakes and more Dave ranting. Huffing…and sounds of him running.

Dave: UGHHHHH! OH MY GAWD!!! OH, THIS IS BAD. BAAAAAAD. OH MY GAWD!!!! You are not going to believe this! (actually I would have no problem believing it) I can’t believe this! Martin! We are less than a mile from home!

Me: Um….why don’t you call me later?

Dave: (completely ignoring my suggestion). Your dog…YOUR DOG! promptly got in the bag and of course…OF COURSE…he went for the scent sac first! OH MY GAWD!!! There are skunk smelly juices EVERYWHERE!!! Even on the ceiling!!!!

Me: Um…why don’t you get that….

Dave: OH MY GAWD…I’M GOING TO THROW UP! MARTIN! GET BACK OVER HERE!! GET IN THE TRUCK! ZOE! WHERE ARE YOU GOING!

At this point I hang up.

Two hours later he calls me.“Why did you hang up?”

Me: Did you make your skunk hat?

Dave: I threw him back out on the side of the road. You really need to stop me when I have a really bad idea.