Dave is losing his hearing. He has been slowly losing it since I met him in 2010 but the last year it’s been more rapidly so.

I think he chooses to view this as one of the more enduring qualities of aging. Me…not so much.

This is particularly difficult in the coffee shop. Not because he can’t hear me, but rather because he cannot hear the customers while he’s in the kitchen. And our kitchen is right next to the register.

Customers like Dave and they want to have conversations with him. Or at least say hello to him. This can lead to some awkward moments when customers are attempting to ask him about his day and he simply continues to work on his sandwich making with his standard look of determination that is often confused with irritation. I have learned to listen for this while making their latte to intercept with a quick explanation.

At first I thought he was purposely ignoring the customers but then I started to realize that I was repeating myself more often in our daily conversations and recently when I yelled during a heated argument that I wanted a divorce and he asked me why in the world I would want a horse, I knew that his hearing had indeed taken a toll for the worse.

I didn’t want a divorce by the way. Well…at that exact moment I may have wanted one but seconds later realized it was more fun to stay married to him.

Currently we are in the process of finding a happy medium of repeated sentences and raised voices. Because he most certainly is not ready for hearing aids…according to him.

So I am learning to adapt (it’s easier this way, trust me). This adaption is a process. A rather humorous one because he’s insisting that it’s me saying odd things rather than him hearing odd things. In true Dave fashion.

Take yesterday for instance. A customer comes in and says hello to Dave while he’s in the kitchen making a sandwich. He returns with nothing and continues slicing the bread. This is always awkward so I make a quick explanation to the customer so she doesn’t think I’m yelling at him causing an uncomfortable situation.

“DAVE, Patti says hello.”

“We don’t have Jello on the menu.” Was his reply as though folks come in every day asking for Jello. Uncomfortable look from Patti who, at this point, is unsure if she is permitted to be amused.

“PATTI SAYS HELLO.”

“Oh! Hi Patti!” he replies as though I truly did ask for Jello the first time.

“I can’t wait for him to get hearing aids.” I reply with a smile.

From the kitchen, “A Kitchen Aid??? What are we going to do with a Kitchen Aid? It’s not a commercial piece of equipment. We can’t use it. We need to buy the other brand they have available on their website.” I will note here that, in his defense, we were talking about getting a new piece of equipment earlier in the day. He was simply continuing that conversation…three hours later.

At this point Patti, who has tried to contain her amusement, broadens her smile but maintains her proper and professional lawyer posture. One can never be too sure about these things.

“I SAID I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO GET A HEARING AID.”

“You need a band-aid? What happened?” Gleefully concerned, he rushes out of the kitchen to prepare for his favorite activity…performing first-aid on whomever needs it at that present moment. Seriously. He loves giving stiches to unsuspecting victims we run into while hiking on the trail or even possibly a mutual party goer at a social event. My husband finds a thrill in carrying sutures like a nerd finds satisfaction in sporting a pocket protector.

No one was bleeding so he returns to the kitchen making no effort to contain his disappointment.

At this point, all of this yelling back and forth has caught the attention of the other customers in the shop including a few of our regulars who simply smile…this is an everyday occurrence here at the coffee shop.

Rick, one of our most loyal customers laughs out loud. “I think Dave needs to leave early today and go fishing.”

From the kitchen, “Yes I do!”

I’m starting to think he has selective hearing instead of impaired hearing.